thankful for the fire

"Hello, darkness, my old friend." An issue with a family member has started my Thanksgiving holiday in bitterness. 

How tedious it is to read that. Who doesn't have family issues? Who doesn't have someone whom they loved and trusted suddenly turn on them? You're only hurt by the ones you love. "That's just the way it is. Some things will never change."

I came here to vent, to try to make some sense of something which makes no sense. I'm already tired of my rant before I've barely begun. No one is spared from being hurt, and no one wants to read about it. So I won't write any more about it.

So Thanksgiving is tomorrow. Giving thanks. What does that mean? Being thankful only for the good things that happen to us? Is it really that easy? What if we gave thanks for those terribly painful things that felt as if they would destroy us, but ended up forcing us to become a better person? What if we gave thanks for all we had to sacrifice for someone else, for all we've lost? Could we be thankful for suffering? I know that sounds rather Catholic (which I'm not), but it starts to make some sense to me.

Not that wonderful and amazing things haven't come into my life for which I am eternally grateful. The top of that list are my children and grandchildren--perfect blessings, every one. But it is easy to be thankful for something so perfect as the blessing of a child in one's life. It takes no effort on my part to see that as a blessing and to be grateful for it.

There have been people and situations in my life that have come close to destroying me...and yet, I live. I struggle and suffer, but yet, I live. Do I give thanks only for the triumph? Why not the struggle? Why not the suffering? When it all brings me to my knees, stripping away my reliance on anything other than my God, how can I not give hosannas and praise and thanks? That God takes me through the fire and is always there on the other side, that is to be thankful for...but I also give thanks for the fire.

Happy Thanksgiving. Be happy in giving thanks, even for the fire.